I usually don’t keep secrets from her, but I just couldn’t tell my wife this one little thing.
Camille and I met at an adult dodgeball league. Yes, adult dodgeball leagues actually exist. It’s a silly story, but we fell in love immediately. Happily married eleven wonderful years last April. Camille works in a dentist’s office and I’m an insurance salesman. (Please, no jokes.)
Staying active has always been important to us, but the years were beginning to catch up. My love handles appeared right after Jackson, our son, turned three. My father had always kept a spare tire around his waist for most of his life and I wasn’t about to let that happen to me.
So I had the procedure done…and didn’t tell my wife.
I know, I know. I felt so guilty, at least, that is until I saw my results. Just as my love handles had appeared from out of nowhere, poof!…they disappeared a couple months later. I couldn’t believe it!
And since CoolSculpting leaves no evidence – there’s no bruising, no injections, no marks whatsoever – I had committed my crime unnoticed by my wife.
Then, when Jackson turned 5 last year, I saw those damn handles returning. I thought, it worked so well the first time. So again, unbeknownst to my wife, I came back in and had them frozen.
GUILTY AS CHARGED!
I’m the worst, I know it. But it was just so easy to make my love handles disappear!
Camille still doesn’t know. I almost told her last month during our Destin vacation. We were on the beach and she asked, “What’s your secret?”
“What do you mean?” I said nervously.
“You look like you’re in your twenties, and I’m turning into my mother.”
I should have come clean right then, but I couldn’t. Instead, I told her she wasn’t turning into her mother (bonus points) and that she looked great. Jackson dumped a bucket of sand on our feet. I looked at Camille and said, “I’ve heard these commercials on the radio for Soco Shaping.”
She smiled as if knowing all along.